He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize