I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
