I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
