is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
