Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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