Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we're making bets on your personal life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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