We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize