you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
