Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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