she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
