a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
