I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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