you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
