just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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