People with herpes should wear stickers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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