There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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