and i looked up. we had an audience...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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