If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize