Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My balls are so social today.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
