I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
