Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
