is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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