My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
