I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we should paint friendship bongs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize