Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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