wrigley field is MILF paradise
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
