Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
