are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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