why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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