I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
