what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
