I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
