i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
