Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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