turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
dude. I can hear the air.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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