I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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