What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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