so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
