It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
