I love black thongs
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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