Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
