His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
