remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I got her a Nickelback box set.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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