connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think people are normalizing furries
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize