So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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