Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
