If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize