my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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