Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
