I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
