He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
