is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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