fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
