everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize