My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am available for nakedness
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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