i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
