Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
