Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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