that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
