Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
