Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
