Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
