Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just found a bag of teeth...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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